My Beauty From Pain...The Beginning

Ok so here we go. I am of course new to this whole blogging thing, so be patient with me.

Have you ever just sat down and wondered why things end up the way that they do? Such as your career path, your current living situation or even you current relationship. Like you sit down and feel as though 3 years have passed and you have no idea how you ended up where you are. You can feel as though something went wrong to get you to the place that you are. People tell you "things will look up!" or another one is "its all in God's timing." I realize that God's timing is perfect and that life can't always be bad but sometimes there is always this barrier that I cant get over and I feel stuck in a place that I have been in for ages and no one actually realizes the depth of the rut until its too late. I begin to feel the pain and despair that I did not realize was actually there until it begins to be too late. I hurt and try to get out of it but Icant. I pray and pray but it seems to no avail. I start to feel hopeless...

There is a Barlow Girl song called I believe in Love and it seems to hit the nail on the head. There is a line that says "I believe in the sun even when it's not shining I believe in love even when I don't feel it And I believe in God even when He is silent. It makes me realize that God has not abandoned me but is being silent on the things that are not important to what He wants of me during this time of my life. There are times when I am crying out to God for an answer yet its never what I think its going to be. I know He adores me but I need to remember that He adores me for me. Not the person that I am trying to be. When we display our righteous deeds they are nothing but fithly rags. Is 64:6. Even when I try to be what he wants, its like He just wants me for me...not what I can do for Him. That can be so difficult for me to grasp.

HE LOVES ME...

Why can't i seem to accept that there are no strings attached to His infinte love for His child...Me...